So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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