remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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