The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
