Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
