The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
