hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
