i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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