: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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