What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
