I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
