good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
