Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
