I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
