I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
