Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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