census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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