Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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