She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
