Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sext me about skeletons
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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