See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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