You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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