Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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