Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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