Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
