I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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