go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
