i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
