Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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