My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
