that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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