My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
