I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
