just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
