dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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