Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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