Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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