it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Can Purell be used as lube?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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