dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
