my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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