Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
