i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
