There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Come on in and take your pants off
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