ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
