What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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