And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
