Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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