Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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