Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just want nice things and good sex
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
