Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
