i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize