so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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