And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
