what day is it and did you see me today?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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