I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
