Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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