I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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