it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
