hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
how does that bad decision feel?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
