Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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