Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
